i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Never joke about your clitoris.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
