Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
