My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
