Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm really busy with my period
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