I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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