I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
