i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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