the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
