home. puking in laundry basket.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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