I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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