Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
