If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize