She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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