I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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