how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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