shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
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you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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