I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
