i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
