I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
operation harelip BJ is a go
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
