Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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