you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
wow bdsm is so cute
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