It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
