i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize