I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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