we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
