I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
