There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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