we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize