Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
even my farts smell like vagina
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!