Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!