she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can I color on your dick again?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!