good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.