Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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