No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
