I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
