Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
