well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize