talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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