Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The air was thick with penises
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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