If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
