I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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