Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
