But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
