I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
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I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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