All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
