we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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