Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
