my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
