Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
