Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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