its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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