Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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