Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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