Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
