At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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