Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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