you win again, gameday.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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