We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
