loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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