And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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