I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
