At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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