Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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