in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
