Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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