but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
