i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Fuck appropriateness.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
